


It's just a bruise!

by ImNotAMarySue (writethatdownpls)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Hickeys, M/M, ask hilda idk, blue lions and golden deers bonding time, i don't know what brought me to write this, more than hinted sylvix, no but really what is this, not gonna say the other couple because that's the spoiler here my friends, or something similar, shirtless felix???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22535824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writethatdownpls/pseuds/ImNotAMarySue
Summary: "So, let me recap: bitten by a mosquito, bitten by a wasp, bitten by a spider, bitten by a vampire —my goddess, Annette, how could you even suggest that? There isn't even a wound there—, bitten by 'something' in general, fell into some nettles, new allergy, kicked by a horse —really, Annette?—, a fish went for her neck after she caught it, the professor did it to herself, hit herself with a door aaaaand finally, someone hit her during practice, possibly Felix. Thanks for that, Ingrid."Or, Byleth has a bruise on her neck and Hilda, Lorenz and Annette are decided to guess what has happened to her. Ingrid is just trying to stop them. Please.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	It's just a bruise!

**Author's Note:**

> what the fuck @ myself. what the fuck
> 
> this is settled during an azure moon timeline in which byleth managed to convince everyone (but Claude, obviously) in the golden deer house to go to her class. There Is A Reason Why There's No One From The Black Eagles, but i'll get to that on the endnotes  
> (this is also a poor life choice from my part, as I'm still on my first run, and it's not even azure moon, is verdant wind. i haven't even read a single fic of this game. BUT i've convinced everyone to come to my class aaaand my friends told me that the personalities are pretty accurate??? I surely hope so. this is just one dumb oneshot, anyway)
> 
> ALSO, important. English is not my mother language, I'm actually from Spain. But I'm studying English Philology, so trust me when I say that I've done my very best to correct this... whatever this is. This is also relevant because I play the game... in Spanish. So there might be some discrepancies with how characters talk or... idk. I realy tried my best.

"I really think she hit herself with a door," Annette said. 

"In the NECK?" Hilda leaned forward, brows furrowed. 

Ingrid sighed. Oh, so it was  _ that _ . 

"I find that quite unlikely," Lorenz said. He had been saying the same for the past hour to every suggestion that had been made, Hilda had just complained about that. "How do you even hit yourself there with a door?" 

"It has happened to me before, it could have happened the same to the professor!" Annette insisted. 

"No one's THAT clumsy, Annette. Well, you might be, but the professor—" 

"Haven't you thought that it might be just a bruise from yesterday's training?" Ingrid intervened, cutting Hilda short. No one was really expecting her to actually join the gossip. "It's the only explanation that makes sense."

There was a silence in their small sector of the table. You could hear Raphael laughing in the distance, above the rest of the voices in the dining hall. 

"But who the heck even MANAGED to hit teach on the neck?" Hilda finally asked after a few seconds. 

"I think Felix hit her. Once. Just once. Oh, but don't tell him I told you that. He obviously hit her several times," the blonde girl added quickly. 

"Couldn't it had been one of the knights? Maybe Felix got to hit her once, but… the Knights of Seiros… you know, are more likely to… than Felix… because…" Annette didn't finish the already vague sentence. Felix might have hit professor Byleth, but as Ingrid had said, it had been just once, if any. And hitting her in the neck? Unlikely. The Knights of Seiros were definitely more skilled, and it was known that they had actually hit Byleth several times. Felix, however? 

Unlikely, indeed, Ingrid knew that. She hadn't actually  _ seen _ said hit, but she was there when it had happened. She had heard it. Felix had celebrated it. Thus, no, she couldn't be sure that Felix had hit Byleth on her neck. But that was the least of her worries. He had hit her, and that was what counted. 

"Oh, aren't the Knights of Seiros supposed to arrive today? They've been on Brigid this week," Lorenz shook his head. 

"And I'm sure as hell teach didn't have that on her neck before today," Hilda added. 

So, there was that. 

The conversation flowed in fast whispers during lunchtime at the dining hall, although they had obviously been commenting on the topic during the whole morning. Dimitri had given them the stink eye twice because they were talking instead of, you know, paying attention to his seminar. Not that they had cared. Well, Annette had cared a little bit, but she had ended up being so invested in the topic...

But the thing was, it was weird! So, SO weird. Professor Byleth didn't get hit easily, not by friends and definitely not by foes. And yet, that morning, everyone and their mothers could see a dark bruise displayed in their teacher's neck, just above the white collar of her classic robes. 

EVERYONE had seen it, it was impossible to not do so. 

The first one to notice and say something about it had been, of course, Hilda. She had told Annette, which was eating her breakfast just at her right. Pure coincidence, because Annette usually sat with Mercedes, but apparently Mercedes hadn't been feeling well that morning, or was just tired, or whatever. Annette didn't specify. 

The thing was, Mercedes had decided to not have her breakfast that morning. Not a healthy decision, if you asked Annette (or whatever, you could not have asked Annette and she would have told you anyway), but oh, well. Probably her best friend was still resting in her room, and after that she would most certainly go to the cathedral before even thinking of eating something. That always made her feel better. Still, Annette was planning on looking for her if she didn't appear during lunch, at least to check on her. She worried a lot about Mercedes, after all. 

In any case, yes, Hilda had told Annette. Gossiping with the nearest person around her was a must, and Annette had happened to be there. They hadn't even talked that much before that day. Lorenz had overheard them during the seminary and had decided (unilaterally) that his input on the matter was very much needed. And okay, maybe it wasn't exactly needed but Lorenz was pretty good theorizing, or at least brushing off stupid hypotheses.

Ingrid, however, had just joined their gossip group. Dimitri had sent her, still bothered by the constant interruptions on his seminary produced by their not very discreet conversation. But they didn't know that. 

Just to clarify, she didn't like to gossip, not at all. And actually everyone knew that, the group seemed kinda surprised she had just talked. And okay, Ingrid felt… weird. But Dimitri had been clear, he wanted to put a stop to whatever they were doing, and to do that, indeed, she had had to join the gossip. 

Five minutes, just… five minutes and she had already given the most rational explanation to the matter of their guesses. She hadn't even given importance to said bruise when she had seen it. She didn't pay attention to those things. But it was… pure logic. 

"So, let me recap," Hilda straightened on her seat, counting with her fingers. "Bitten by a mosquito, bitten by a wasp, bitten by a spider, bitten by a vampire —my goddess, Annette, how could you even suggest that? There isn't even a wound there—, bitten by 'something' in general, fell into some nettles, new allergy, kicked by a horse —really, Annette?—, a fish went for her neck after she caught it, the professor did it to herself, hit herself with a door aaaaand finally, someone hit her during practice, possibly Felix. Thanks for that, Ingrid."

"My pleasure. Did you really entertained the idea of her being attacked by a fish?" Ingrid asked. She was honestly surprised no one had suggested the practice theory until she had arrived. And no, she wasn't even going to mention the one involving the vampire, and the fact that Hilda and Annette hadn't even entertained the idea of vampires not being real. 

"Yes, although we discarded it fast," Lorenz clarified. "Now, what you say has some logic, my dear Ingrid."

"Yeah! And also, now that you say it, sometimes Felix has the same kind of bruises on his neck and torso," Hilda clapped her hands together, suddenly remembering. 

"Have… have you seen Felix shirtless, Hilda?" Lorenz's voice broke a little. Ingrid could tell he was kinda shocked. 

"Not quite, but pretty much, yes. He gets his clothes torn every once in a while."

"During practice?" Lorenz's eyebrows arched. 

"And during fights. Haven't you seen him, Lorenz?" 

"I don't usually coincide with him during practice, nor during fights. I get sent to the other end of the battlefield."

"Such a shame. It's a show," Hilda sighed a little dreamily.

"Excuse you?" 

"In any case, yes," Ingrid cut the conversation before it escalated more. She really had to put an end to that gossip. "We've all seen… enough of Felix's torso to know he also bears such bruises. Can we say that your mystery is resolved and thus, you'll be quieter during the second part of the seminary?" 

"Yep!" Hilda nodded, sounding pleased. 

"This has been fun!" Ingrid didn't quite grasp what Annette understood as 'fun' given the situation. "Although I'm kinda worried about the professor. If she was hit hard enough to leave a bruise, shouldn't have she gone to see Manuela? Even Marianne or Mercie could have helped with it." 

"Well, I bet Manuela knows how to take care of hickeys, now that you say it," Ingrid almost jumped out of her chair, just as Annette. Behind them, stealthily for once, stood Sylvain, looking like he had just gotten out of bed. 

Which was probably the case, actually. 

"What… what did you just say?" Hilda asked, her eyes opening like windows. 

"I said that Manuela could have probably helped teach with the hickey. She probably has experience with that, now that I—" 

"The  _ what _ ?" Hilda hit the table with her palms, standing up and almost knocking back her chair. Lorenz grabbed it on time. 

"The… hickey?" 

Ingrid felt herself go pale.  _ Oh _ . 

" _ What _ ."

"My goddess, Hilda, don't you know what a hickey is? I thought you did, you all were talking about it, right?" 

"I know what a hickey is—" 

"Sit down, Hilda, where are your modals?" Lorenz interrupted, although the same kind of shock that appeared on Hilda's face was also present in his.

"But teach— what professor Byleth has on her neck is  _ not  _ a hickey?" Her voice trembled. Everyone on that conversation looked utterly astonished, Ingrid included. 

_ Oh. Ooooh.  _

She didn't care about any of that. She had been sent to that table just to stop the gossip, and she had almost managed to do so. 

But, Sylvain. 

"Isn't it? I've seen my share of hickeys, Hilda, I recognize one when I see it."

"Sylvain!" Ingrid snapped out of it and turned around to face him. The grimace in Sylvain's face was automatic, knowing exactly the reason behind Ingrid calling his name with such a layer of disappointment. 

"What? I've said I've seen.  _ I have seen _ . In the past. I don't do that anymore. I mean, I sometimes— but not with every girl! I've settled. Promise," he racked back his red hair. 

But, oh, Ingrid wasn't satisfied with just that. It wouldn't be the first time for Sylvain's words to be void. So she just kept staring at him, giving him the worst look she could manage. 

Sylvain gulped down. Good. He was uncomfortable. 

Oh, but if he was being truthful, did that mean Sylvain had a serious girlfriend? That was interesting. 

"But… but it can't be!" Hilda continued on her obvious breakdown. "That's absolutely not a hickey. Teach cannot— no. I'm not thinking of that."

"Yeah, Hilda's right!" Annette said with a tiny nod. "We had just determined that Felix hit her yesterday with the practice sword, so it's obviously just a bruise. Not a vampire or anything, just a bruise." 

"A vampire?" Sylvain mumbled, confused.  _ Yeah, me too _ , thought Ingrid. 

"Plus!" Hilda almost jumped, "I'm pretty sure that if it was a hickey, teach would have covered it with make-up."

"That's— that's really your best argument?" Sylvain blinked, skeptical. "Make-up? And also, Felix? Like,  _ Felix _ ? Oh, and you know that even teach has the right to have a romantic life, right?" 

"Yes, yes, and talking about Felix…" said then Lorenz, completely ignoring Sylvain's last words. "These ladies here assured me just a couple of minutes ago that they've seen parts of Felix's skin, and he exhibits similar bruises. We all know Felix trains a lot, thus it's easy to imagine that he usually has a fair share of bruises on his own skin. Those are obviously  _ not _ hickeys."

"Yeah, uh… funny story…" Ingrid could swear she had heard Sylvain say those words, but then he cleared his throat and continued in a louder voice, "uh, pfft, of course those aren't hickeys. Are you blind? They don't look like the one on teach's neck  _ at all _ . And yes, I've seen her hickey quite closely, I've encountered her in the entrance of the hall talking to Lysithea. I had to walk past them." 

"Well, Ingrid and I think differently!" Hilda said, a frown appearing on her face. 

Well, Ingrid was starting to think that  _ maybe  _ Sylvain was right. Again, she had not noticed Byleth's mark herself, but knowing the ones on Felix looked… 

She had never thought that those could  _ actually  _ be hickeys. 

"Well, maybe the both of you need glasses because they aren't the same at all," Sylvain huffed. 

"Oh, then you've seen young Fraldarius' skin, too," Lorenz said then, a little baffled. 

"Lorenz,  _ please,  _ you make yourself sound  _ old _ ," Sylvain sighed, as he started to go around the table towards where Lorenz and Hilda sat. "And yes, I've seen it. We… fight quite frequently. A recurring event in our relationship which makes me extremely sad, you know it. I can confirm I'm responsible for the majority of those bruises."

Strangely, to Ingrid's perception he didn't seem to be _lying._ That time he… looked extremely sincere. Even proud. Yeah, that was it, Sylvain looked proud. Sylvain was most probably responsible for those.

Now, were they bruises or was Sylvain responsible for Felix's alleged hickeys? 

"But they really look the same!" Hilda insisted. 

"They don't," said Sylvain calmly. 

Ingrid stared down at her own food. She hadn't even touched it since she had moved to their table, following Dimitri's petition. First the gossip, and now her mind—

If they indeed looked the same—

"They're just bruises, you're just pulling my leg." 

"I wouldn't joke about this!" Sylvain frowned. "You're really offending me here. Tell me, what do I win teasing you, such a fair lady accompanied by her most dear friends, right here and now?" 

"Amusement?" 

"I mean, that's fair," Sylvain snorted. He now stood between Hilda and Lorenz, his hands resting each one on the shoulders of them both. "But I'm still too sleepy to think about doing that, for what's worth."

"I still don't believe you."

"Yeah, me neither," Annette talked for the first time after a while. But Ingrid knew that face, she didn't look that convinced.

For what was worth, Lorenz and Hilda didn't look persuaded either. 

"You don't?" Sylvain arched his eyebrows and gave a little smile. Ingrid noticed how his grip on Lorenz and Hilda's shoulders was slightly strengthened. "Oh, well, if there isn't another alternative…" He cleared his throat, turned around his head and looked directly to a certain point in the dining hall, and then called out loud: "Hey, teach! Professor Byleth! Can you come here for a moment, please?" 

The effect was instantaneous. Both Hilda and Lorenz straightened up, panic reflected on their faces. 

"What the FUCK are you doing Sylvain?" Hilda screeched, just as Ingrid saw how said teacher stood up and began walking towards their table. 

"Providing proof, of course."

"Sylvain, I don't think this is necessary…" Ingrid could have said with certainty that Lorenz had begun to sweat. 

And no, contrary to popular belief, he didn't sweat glitter. 

Annette, not being retained by a red-haired noble, was fast to jump out of her chair and run away. She wasn't going to stay so Byleth could relate her to  _ that _ gossip. 

"Traitor!" Hilda called her between her teeth, just as she herself was unsuccessfully trying to stand up. The pink-haired girl was strong, but Sylvain Jose Gautier was stronger. 

And Ingrid? Ingrid was just frozen in her seat contemplating the whole scene, mouth slightly agape. 

Dimitri had told her— but Sylvain— and the professor was approaching— and Sylvain and Felix—

"Did you call me, Sylvain?" Byleth finally made it to their table. The hall had seemed to quiet down a little as she approached. 

"Ah, yes, yes. You see, professor, we had a doubt here, and we were kinda worried…" the shit-eating grin on Sylvain's lips probably made the scene even more hilarious. 

But it wasn't hilarious. Not for Ingrid. Definitely not for Hilda and Lorenz. For Sylvain, though? It was his time to shine. 

"Sylvain Jose Gautier, don't you—" Lorenz started, but that Sylvain Jose Gautier ignored him. 

"Is that a hickey? On your neck, I mean."

At that point, the dining hall seemed to fall into complete silence. The time froze in Garreg Mach itself. Ingrid could feel her own cheeks growing red, and her heart beating fast out of second-hand embarrassment. 

However, Byleth seemed as calm as ever. 

"Ah…" she took her hand to the exact spot, briefly covering it. "You mean this?" 

"Yes, that." 

"Yes, it is."

" _ What? _ " Lorenz mouthed. 

"It's a hickey," Byleth continued, confirming it again. "Don't worry, I'm okay. It's nothing bad. Is there anything else you wanted?" 

"Nope, that would be all, teach. If it's just a hickey, we'll stop worrying," and oh, Sylvain's entire face… he was beaming. 

"Oh, okay. Please call me if you need anything else," Byleth gave them a little bow and slowly returned to her table, were Lysithea was waiting, she herself looking a little bit red. 

Byleth had really thought they had been worrying about her well-being. Amazing. Astonishing. 

Slowly, the whole dining hall resumed its conversations and usual ruckus. 

That portion of the table, however, remained silent for a whole minute. 

A single thought crossed Ingrid's mind. Seeing up close the, now confirmed, hickey on their professor's neck, it really looked like the alleged bruises on Felix's body. 

And if Sylvain was responsible for them—

"...Was that necessary?" Lorenz asked with a tiny voice. 

"Absolutely!" Sylvain said smugly. "I had to prove I was right, after all."

"You exposed us!' Lorenz buried the face in his hands, utterly embarrassed. 

"She took it well. Come on, you'll get over it," Sylvain finally let go of their shoulders, giving them a couple of pats in the back. Then, he looked at Ingrid, "See you later?" 

"S-sure. Yeah," Ingrid gave a small nod. She still was processing… everything. Yep, everything. 

"...Okay, right. Right! What we need to discuss now—" Hilda started again once Sylvain was far enough, "is WHO gave the professor that hickey—" 

_ Wait, what?  _

"Who do you think it was?" asked Lorenz immediately. 

_ Oh, no.  _

"Well, I was actually thinking on—" 

You see, that day Ingrid learned that Hilda's gossip carriage was unstoppable. She had tried, really. She had been expecting the announcement of it being a hickey to be the end of the gossip. But it hadn't been. Now that they had found out that their favorite teacher had a romantic life Hilda would be completely relentless until she got every last bit of information. 

She had also learned that, apparently, Sylvain and Felix were secretly together, but that was a headache for another day. 

And maybe, just maybe, if she had left with Annette when she had absconded, they both would have found Mercedes coming out of her room with not one but three different marks on her neck, barely covered by her clothes. 

"Mercie! How are you feeling?" would have said Annette, oblivious to the marks. 

"I'm great! Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night so I asked professor Byleth if I could spend the morning resting. I'm better now. Would you mind coming with me to the cathedral?"

"I'm glad you're better! And any time, Mercie, any time!" 

And maybe, just maybe, Ingrid would have connected the dots. Annette, on her own, absolutely didn't. 

**Author's Note:**

> if the Black Eagles had been there, Dorothea would have ended the gossip session in like, five seconds. because she would have known everything already. I imagine she's that scary. and honestly I coudn't think how to fit the rest of the class, so there's that
> 
> also this is the first time i've ever written a fucking oneshot. this is new for me. i'm just too used to write longfics. that's it, i just wanted to say i'm proud of myself for actually doing it (even if the result is this mess)
> 
> thanks chisi (@chisiuwu) and clive (@katsucii) for reading this before anyone and giving me your honest opinion (take a look at their accounts, do yourself a favor, two great artists indeed!! AND deep into fire emblem too)
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos or comments if you're feeling generous. You can also get mad at me at my twitter (same handle as here, ImNotAMarySue) for writing this amount of bullshit and make you read it. I will 100% understand it.


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